There’s no sugar-coating this. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. You can even give them a general date range if you want, so they know now to schedule anything or ruin a potential surprise (they can even play a part in it!). It could be several days, a week, or months before your actual proposal (just maybe don’t do it on the SAME day. Good luck to those that read this for advice! If not, ask her father if he wants to break the news or if he’s okay with you doing it. We have the answer for you! But my process was much more about making sure my future wife had no idea I ever asked. You would think asking a father for his daughter's hand in marriage would be all about the dad. We agree! Benjamin was born in New York and joined Estate Diamond Jewelry in 2014. We think it’s a bit of a shame that this particular custom is fading, with most weddings now announced, rather than requested. I think the best way to start off the conversation is to express to the father your love and admiration for his daughter. It matters very much what your mother says. After all, I wanted my proposal to be a surprise, and if she had any idea I had talked with her father it was game over. Estate Diamond Jewelry has just released a brand new book that will teach you everything that you need to know before popping the big question! Here’s some advice that a father gave to his son about marriage: 1. Even though the “blessing” is traditionally supposed to come from the father, we think it’s a great idea to include your girlfriend’s mother as well. If your partner is aware of what’s going on, she can easily distract other family members while you get her father alone and talk man-to-man. Schedule an appointment at our New York City showroom. There are plenty of those, and if that is what you are dealing with, don’t bother. In terms of step-parents you’ll want to make sure you include them as well. Ask him what he would do differently if he could do it again. Asking for a parent's blessing or permission was once a standard part of an engagement. Never lie. But one real dad has a response to this song. Meet the parents first if you can. Don’t get flustered. The conversation needn’t be complicated or lengthy, just explain that you love his daughter, would like to marry her, and it would mean a lot if you could have his blessing. A compliment about his daughter is, by extension, a compliment about him and the way he raised her. If you think her parents will be happy for you to marry her, call them and ask to meet for dinner. 2. Tell him how much she means to you. But asking his girlfriend to marry him wasn't the problem; what was making him weak in the knees was asking her father "Will you give your blessing?" You don’t really have to answer them, but if you do an answer ready, you may as well put him at ease: Don’t volunteer this information if he doesn’t ask! There is no short answer to this question. I love how well you put this! it evolved into asking his permission and then hers, and now finally is done as a mark of respect to the parents/father. Talk about it. Is your girlfriend close or estranged to her parents? Thanks again! Are they worried about something you haven’t considered yet (such as religious objections, etc.) The sense of foreboding is even greater if your meetings have been few and far between. By this point, it may be that your partner’s mother already knows. Learn how your comment data is processed. SEE MORE: A Husband’s Guide to Getting Married. it comes from way back in the day when a girl was her fathers property. All Rights Reserved. What will he ask? But if he does ask, and some fathers might ask, have your replies ready. Your future son-in-law could be arriving anytime to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage, and you need to be sure before you give your blessing. Flattery will get you so far but, unless you have a close relationship with her father, too much will make you both very uncomfortable. But what if you do intend to ask for your partner’s hand? How do you ask a father if you can marry his daughter? That is so disrespectful to the mother. This, and presenting an engagement ring and having your father give you away on your wedding day. Would you like to view these rings in person? We provide free overnight and insured shipping for all the jewelry on this website! Then, tell them you’d like to marry her … Even recently, an Old Wykehamist friend was advised by his intended to turn up with his bank statements for her father to scrutinise. If that DOES occur (and trust us, it’s not common, so don’t get nervous! Demonstrate how you can provide a happy life for his daughter. You will need to tailor your approach a little, but all the points in this guide still stand. For a father, this moment is a very big deal. After all, he did raise her and a number of her good qualities are a … He is passionate about vintage jewelry and vintage diamonds. You’re ready to propose, but you don’t know how to ask for her father’s blessing? Yes, it’s your wedding, but ensuring a happy fiancée and happy in-laws are something that will repay itself back a thousand-fold over the years. This Wedding Proposal Did Not Go As Planned! Here’s one and here’s another. Here are a few things that he may ask. This blog was built based on his strong belief that there is a responsibility for jewelers to properly educate their customers. There’s no point getting her father’s permission and then being turned down at the crucial moment. Assuming he agrees – which he probably will – shake hands and have a drink to celebrate. Where are you planning on living long-term. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your wisdom and thoughts on this. A bride may be closer to her step-father than biological father, so take all the family relationships into consideration first. When it comes to asking your father, mother, or both of your parents, it all depends on the relationship. To stand in his way could drive her into his arms. But as a father, you are having second thoughts about the man she's going to marry. This Amazing Chipotle Wedding Proposal Just Absolutely Made Our Day, 13 Wedding Proposals That Are Anything But Cheesy, John Stamos Just Proposed in the MOST Romantic Way, A Grandpa Filmed His Own Reaction Instead of a Proposal and It’s Hilarious. we both know that we wanna spend the rest of our lives together and the is no doubts about that. You’ve possibly had a million conversations with him over the time you and your partner have been together, but nothing will prepare you for this particular chat. You go from boyfriend to fiancé, and from outsider to family-member. Copyright © 1980 - 2020 Estate Diamond Jewelry. she is really close wit her family so out of respect for her dad i kinda wanna ask for his … Your daughter means the world to me, and I hope to spend the rest of my life proving that to her. Have a casual conversation and then discuss your intentions to marry his daughter. In 2019, Benjamin co-published the book The Engagement Ring Guide for Men. He needs to know his daughter will be looked after, and that you’re the man to do it. Let him know how important your partner is to you and all her good qualities. If you don’t know the answer to a question, just say that you don’t know. It’s best not to be trying to make yourself heard in a crowded bar during the World Series, just as it’s best not to try and have the conversation around the dinner table with the whole family present. Now asking for a woman's hand in marriage is sometimes viewed as an antiquated practice or a misogynistic ritual. When popping the question to her father, steer clear of praising his … I’m here today because I would like to ask your daughter to marry me, and I would be honored to have your blessing.”. Do you have meaningful communication? She says she has found the man of her dreams, and is ready to take the plunge. Knowing the man will be important for this part. ), you’ll want to remain calm and continue the discussion. If her father is no longer alive, or if his whereabouts are unknown, don’t assume that you can ignore this tradition altogether. 15 Rustic Wedding Cakes That Will Make You Want a Barn Wedding, 27 of the Best Wedding Registry Ideas for Your Home. If this happens it’s going to get awkward…fast. I’m here today because I would like to ask your daughter to marry me, and I would be honored to have your blessing.” Do You Only Ask the Father? At the same time, make sure your potential bride has no issues with you speaking to her father. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Otherwise, just having enough respect for him to have the conversation in the first place will usually be enough to see you through. © 2021 Woman Getting Media, LLC. They may not be the primary person to ask, but they still warrant inclusion and the courtesy of being one of the first to know. It’s a straightforward question that begs a straightforward answer. It’s also true that it is now more normal to ask for her father’s blessing, than outright permission, and that’s okay as long as you have a good idea what the answer will be before you even ask! The relationship between them might not be as close as it could be, so she may not be comfortable with you asking her father at all. If you google “Questions a father should ask the man who wants to marry his daughter,” you’ll find some. In fact, the tradition dates back all the way to biblical times. This is so sexist and evil, Stop doing this!! Talking to the mother is definitely something I would suggest as well! As nervous as you are, he may be equally apprehensive. A wet-behind-the-ears bachelor would be expected to discuss his finances with his prospective father-in-law. There are some really good questions out there to ask, and things to consider. Chances are you already know whether this can be a constructive conversation or not depending on how well you know the parent, but if there is a time for a calm, rationale back and forth, now would be the time to do it. There are plenty of women who will appreciate and enjoy the gifts that you buy for them. Fine Collection of Wedding Rings and Wedding Bands, Curated Collection of Fine Diamond Earrings, Extraordinary Collection of Vintage and Antique Jewelry, Curated Collection of Fine Estate Engagement Rings, 7 Tips On How To Ask A Dad To Marry His Daughter, Complete Guide to Buying an Engagement Ring, Complete Guide to Buying a Vintage Engagement Ring, The Top 15 Celebrity Engagement Rings of 2020. This is any easy way to compliment him while pointing out the things you love about his daughter. I’ve read a couple of articles for tips and advice, and yours takes the cake! Asking your sweetheart's father for her hand in marriage is an act that means different things to different people. Have a man-to-man conversation with her dad. 8. It would be unfortunate for you to give your permission for your daughter's boyfriend to marry your daughter, when in fact, she may not want to get married -- or that she doesn't want to marry him. Some fathers may ask really inappropriate questions. His favorite vintage jewelry era is the Art Deco Era and his favorite type of stone is the Kashmir Sapphire. Are you ready for this kind of commitment? Assuming he agrees – which he probably will – shake hands and have a drink to celebrate. Complimenting his daughter reflects favorably on how she was raised, which is a compliment for dad as well. He also collects rare antique pins. The past 20 or 30 years have seen a significant relaxing of some of the more formal elements of the process, including the age-old tradition of the prospective groom asking permission of his father-in-law-to-be for his daughter’s hand in marriage. When you ask for your partner’s father’s blessing, the relationship immediately changes. Regardless of family dynamics, the implications of asking a father for his blessing to marry his daughter is just too off-putting for some. If so, then that’s obviously something to consider. The good news is that we have worked with 1000’s engaged couples in the 40 years that we’ve been in business. LOL). Here’s how to talk to your girlfriend’s father about getting married: Make sure you and your GF are on the same page about marriage. ): We suggest reaching out to their father or step-father (or potentially both) and asking if you can stop by their home or go for lunch or coffee. This is a good opportunity to ask for advice on proposing and marriage, too. Once the most important people have been told of your intention to marry, work out who should tell whom and be careful not to steal anybody’s glory. This is very respectful to do and I really enjoyed this blog. The father says no, and the boy calls him rude. If you don’t live in the same state, a phone call would be the way to go (an e-mail is too impersonal). Having your facts right might be an odd thing to say, but you don’t know what questions he might ask you in return. During your discussion a great way to start is to talk about your feelings towards your partner, and that with their blessing you plan on proposing. With that said, here’s what you need to know (based on the most common questions we receive from grooms! Instead of asking permission, simply explain your wish to spend the rest of your life with his daughter. Forget that crazy lady, Jean, who commented. im so nervous and i just dont know how to ask the man because he is not the easiest person in the world to talk to. Make sure marriage is truly on the horizon before you stress about how to ask a day to marry his daughter. I plan to ask my girlfriend’s father for permission to marry his daughter. The first thing to consider is the relationship your future spouse has with their parents. How can you be sure? They can be together when you ask, or after your meeting or phone call with the father you can call up their mom and share the big news and also tell them how much her blessing would mean to you. Will you all please stop writing articles to tell guys to ask a grown adult woman’s dad for blessings or permission. Nobody needs a growing sense of embarrassment waiting for you to get to the point, whether you have an established relationship or not. Her mother, step-dad, or even her uncle should be treated with the same respect. Address any concerns or reservations that he may have. How are you planning on supporting your family? Tell him that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter. It's "Rude (The Dad's Side of the Story)." Important Note: The world is changing. When you meet them, start by expressing how you feel about their daughter and how she improves your life. It may be obvious to say, but make sure your partner is actually going to say yes. Your daughter means the world to me, and I hope to spend the rest of my life proving that to her. It’s usually just their own apprehension talking… Just remain calm and do your best to navigate around the question. Or has she expressed her annoyance at the tradition? Explain your wish to marry his daughter. If you are at this stage of your relationship there are probably a few other things that you’ll want to know: Benjamin Khordipour is one of the researchers and gemologists at Estate Diamond Jewelry. Yes, take him out to dinner or lunch. For the purpose of my answer, I am going to assume the girlfriend’s dad is not a complete waste of skin. or are there past relationship issues or financial ones? Marry the woman who not only appreciates presents but also cares about your savings, your hard earned money. It’s no surprise by now to say that many traditions surrounding everything about weddings, from the proposal to the ceremony itself, have changed somewhat. First, I want to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed getting to know you and (spouse’s name), and how much I appreciate being welcomed into the family. SEE MORE: A Guy’s Guide to Buying the Perfect Engagement Ring. A Guy’s Guide to Buying the Perfect Engagement Ring. In another day and age, you might have asked if he was financially able to support her, but today, it is likely that a couple will need two incomes. He received his gemological degrees from both GIA and GUBELIN. Tell the parent(s) you are sorry they feel that way, and that you would like to talk about the reasons why. And for the most part, it is. And even though back then asking for your hand in marriage was more of a permission than a blessing, the gesture has clearly stuck around. […] September 3rd, 2018 03:38 PM 1. Make sure you consider his personality, too. A recent study revealed that 70% of all engagements happen with the partner’s dad and/or mom’s loving approval, a tradition that became popular in the 18th century. Graciously Blessing the Couple The decision to marry is really between your daughter and this man, although you likely feel that it’s your responsibility to protect your daughter. Sign up now! The point is that you took the time and effort to reach out in a meaningful way, which is something your future in-laws will definitely appreciate. i am 21 and i have been with his daughter for 6 months and she moved in with me at 4 months. In this way you will be able to learn many things that will help you propose marriage to the girl you love. In … The mother is the most important parent to a girl. Think about what you’re going to say, and be sure to keep it simple. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. If her family are more liberal, it may be more appropriate to ask both her father and mother for their blessing. The moment is a mountain to overcome in almost any relationship, but I believe it’s a mountain we, as Christians, can capture for the good of the daughter, the suitor, and the father. Ask him if your daughter is one of his best friends. 7 Questions Parents Should Ask the Man who Wants to Marry Their Daughter: 1. Get him to the point where he is happy with your intentions to marry his daughter. He’ll appreciate the courtesy, and both of you can walk away without any embarrassment. But why? Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. How early is this commonly done before proposing and, if possible, should it be in person? Make Your Feelings for His Daughter Known. Create Your Registry with The Knot Wedding Registry. While there are some wedding traditions that go in and out of style, there’s one that never will: Asking your future wife’s parents for their blessing. For example, make sure you’ve spent time with her parents before you ask for their marriage approval, which will give them a chance to get to know you. What are the best ways to go about it? How to Ask a Dad to Marry His Daughter. But even if it’s not YOUR cup of tea but you know it would mean a lot to your partner and her parents, it’s a sweet, courteous and respectful thing to do. Meet the parents first if you can. How do you ask for her father’s blessing? A piece in the Metro, suggested that if your partner asks your Dad for ‘permission’ then you shouldn’t marry them. Here’s a sample script: “I wanted to talk to you today because I have some important news to discuss. "Seeking permission to marry my princess, son what's wrong with your big head?" Mention some specific qualities that you love about her. He raised her, so you are really complimenting him at the same time. Assuming she’s already agreed to marry you in principle, there should be no problems. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. May I Marry Your Daughter? What Does an Aquamarine Engagement Ring Symbolize? You only need a minute because, as we’ve already said, you will want to keep things brief and to the point. 5. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. This article assumes that your fiancee’s family are very traditional. The conversation needn’t be complicated or lengthy, just explain that you love his daughter, would like to marry her, and it would mean a lot if you could have his blessing. Click here to purchase your copy! In fact, 70 percent of proposers ask for parental permission to marry their partner. Hopefully you can get a clearer idea of why they might feel this way, and what you could do to help alleviate their concerns. Whilst it’s not exactly a fork in the road, what you do during this time could dictate how smooth the future path is for everybody. However, people are still unsure whether they should ask for permission to marry. A boyfriend goes to his girlfriend's father to ask for her hand in marriage. You are wonderful parents, and I know that (girlfriend’s name) is such a kind and caring person today because of that. Tip Number 3 – Location of Conversation One more thing, ask your mother how she would have liked to be asked from her parents. In this day and age, no man should need anothers permission. Here’s how to talk to your girlfriend’s father about getting married: Make sure you and your GF are on the same page about marriage. How well do your daughter and her prospective husband communicate? If a … If the two of you are enjoying an activity you’re used to doing together, it will be more casual when you bring up the ever-so-serious idea of proposing to his daughter. Tell him that out of respect for him you'd like to talk to him about marrying his daughter. The world we live in today has lost its way and is now missing out on true romance with respect, courtesy and chivalry. Arrange to meet him in person. Here are our tips to make sure the whole thing goes as smoothly as possible. It’s romantic and polite. Keep reading. How do you ask a blessing to marry your daughter? But not all of them will care to find out how much money you spent on them and how much you saved for yourself. The real key is confidence. It’s not as easy as it sounds! Is Artifact Uprising the Best Photo Album Option? Ask him to meet you at his favorite restaurant, bar or golf course! Alex of Tennessee says, “It’s sexist. So if you are about to pop the question, how and when should you approach your partners parent(s), and who should you ask? This is entirely up to you. Photo by Burnt Exposure Photography. Your email address will not be published. It’s unlikely her father will refuse to give his blessing, even if he really doesn’t really like you! One of the best ways you can begin this conversation is by expressing your feeling for his daughter first. You may be head over heels with one another, but if you haven’t discussed your future and when marriage is right for both of you, it’s time to pump the breaks and confront that question first. Ask your partner who will be giving her away, and include them if necessary. you did not ask his permission and then hers, you just asked his, and if he thought it was a good move he would give his daughter to you. He needs to know that you’re up to doing what, he believes, was – until now – his job. Ask if they allow each other space to be individuals — to be sincerely transparent with each other and reveal who they are inside. The concept of the groom approaching his beloved’s parents and asking permission to marry their daughter may be old-school to some, but it is still widely entrenched in American society today. Ask them how was their marriage, how your father asked your mother to marry him. “When daughters were married, there was a dowry … Whether you think of it as a trend, a tradition, or just a nod to the days of antiquity when women needed their father's approval to be passed from the family to a husband, there are some things you should know before broaching the subject with her father. Communication is the lifeblood of a marriage. Humor. If you have problems with the suitor, keeping your mouth shut can give her a chance to see it for herself. Jean……It’s far from sexist. That's the essence of the song "Rude" by the band Magic! If it’s not going in that direction, thank them for their time and go with your heart knowing you did what was right. Will he be armed? If you want to marry my daughter, you bloody well ought to be able to pay for her, was the thinking. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Have a man-to-man conversation with her dad. 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But my process was much more about making sure my future wife had no idea I ever.. Wet-Behind-The-Ears bachelor would be expected to discuss his finances with his prospective father-in-law about your savings your! Ask him if your daughter how to ask a father to marry his daughter, respect, and I have important. The first thing to consider is the most common Questions we receive from grooms Story.... Happy with your big head? appointment at our New York City showroom.! On your Wedding day money you spent on them and ask to meet you at favorite! Friend was advised by his intended to turn up with his bank statements her! His intended to turn up with his bank statements for her hand in marriage would all! Of our lives together and the is no doubts about that not common, so don t!